how it is for those who don't know.

so. basically this is just a rant page for a 15 year old girl.  yeah i know..feelings don't matter, teenagers don't feel shitty and stressed, but thats all BS.  no one knows why we feel like this or what causes it but its real.  the feelings you get from people calling you ugly, making fun of the way you talk, or acting like your thin air.  all my experiences.  k, so lets back this up to the beginning.  so things were pretty cool up to 8th grade year, you know, all the bitchy girls who you become friends with, something happens, your than banished from any social life? ring a bell? oh yeah. only cause its every cliche plot for a high school based movie. so yeah that's where it just about starts up until present day, freshman year of highschool.  the rumors, gossip, bull shit everyone loves.  up until you find someone you think "hey i have a shot at getting them to like me."  no one tells you how hard it is.  he's tall, dark, handsom, oh wait..and stubborn and just full of hot air..like it oozes out of him. he seems like the type of guy who would care how you feel and what you want to talk about...hell no.  he makes you feel...inexistent, unimportant, but you can't resist it..because some stupid thing keeps you attracted to him, showing that gleam of hope that he might care and you'll live happily ever after.  than after he blows you off, your thinking...awesome and blow it off like its nothing. but inside you feel broken..dead.  you feel like no one understands you..and yeah they don't.  you sorta wish you could start it all over and be like "hey..im m****, wanna be friends?" but nah.  k. so this parts over for now..but side note: you may think im some hormonally indused kid who dosen't know what the hell she's talking bout? but no im not "pmsing" im explaining how we really feel. how life can feel. and im also not depressed and don't recommend me to get help..honestly. and im the furthest thing from immature so don't throw that at me.